Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
