if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
