I bet he comes in French.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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