Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
