vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
