My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize