It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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