the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
this will be a night to untag.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
