First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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