If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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