The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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