i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
