I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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