It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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