As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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