actually, I'm a sock model
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
