We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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