for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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