Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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