Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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