How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
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