we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
