We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
