I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
