Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
