I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills