Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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