Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
