it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
