I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
