I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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