My nipple is on Facebook.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize