So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
