To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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