Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
