At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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