just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
