At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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