Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
