what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I had to cum in my sink.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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