News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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