no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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