Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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