remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
