Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet