Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.

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  (248): new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home. http://tfl.nu/dmz8
  Replies (49) Good night (5343) Bad night (2218)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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  (914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar. http://tfl.nu/zfa3
  Replies (12) Good night (4658) Bad night (748)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.

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  (630): I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building. http://tfl.nu/xm6j
  Replies (12) Good night (9551) Bad night (1559)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.

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  (309): Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins. http://tfl.nu/lj1p
  Replies (19) Good night (5379) Bad night (1008)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...

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  (765): He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina... http://tfl.nu/78ky
  Replies (19) Good night (1877) Bad night (7361)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

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  (847): I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted http://tfl.nu/5rf7
  Replies (6) Good night (2503) Bad night (1079)
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  (626): View more from California

  im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.

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  (626): im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again. http://tfl.nu/ai0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1044) Bad night (2185)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.

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  (613): Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day. http://tfl.nu/hbn0
  Replies (4) Good night (2205) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit

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  (901): He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit http://tfl.nu/0txt
  Replies (8) Good night (889) Bad night (2477)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening

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  (604): I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening http://tfl.nu/c0v1
  Replies (44) Good night (1568) Bad night (6984)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...

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  (817): So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals... http://tfl.nu/dkvo
  Replies (13) Good night (2195) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't. I will literally throw up my liver

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.

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  (610): I can't. I will literally throw up my liver (484): Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume. http://tfl.nu/eh54
  Replies (2) Good night (1682) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were

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  (731): all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were http://tfl.nu/iffh
  Replies (12) Good night (2593) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.

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  (913): Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life. http://tfl.nu/36jh
  Replies (8) Good night (1897) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked

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  (309): I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked http://tfl.nu/2y25
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (347)

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