Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  What are you drinking?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL

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  (678): What are you drinking? (404): Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL http://tfl.nu/iqly
  Replies (54) Good night (1672) Bad night (2700)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her

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  (513): you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her http://tfl.nu/dn9c
  Replies (48) Good night (912) Bad night (5491)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her

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  (847): i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her http://tfl.nu/2g5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1053) Bad night (4256)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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  (303): I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better. http://tfl.nu/9eyu
  Replies (23) Good night (5634) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon

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  (443): Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon http://tfl.nu/pfsh
  Replies (18) Good night (4710) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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  (541): When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside. http://tfl.nu/wpt8
  Replies (11) Good night (3001) Bad night (1753)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.

  (631): View more from New York

  i got hit in the ear.

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  (631): these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby. (631): i got hit in the ear. http://tfl.nu/qr8z
  Replies (6) Good night (2388) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus

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  (512): Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus http://tfl.nu/cvrn
  Replies (5) Good night (2529) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone

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  (262): put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone http://tfl.nu/kic6
  Replies (16) Good night (3739) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr

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  (507): Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr http://tfl.nu/hq3c
  Replies (3) Good night (1116) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.

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  (516): I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents. http://tfl.nu/ifal
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!

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  (408): We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?! http://tfl.nu/o08x
  Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.

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  (251): Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk. http://tfl.nu/ul5p
  Replies (0) Good night (320) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.

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  (980): I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle. http://tfl.nu/hjcy
  Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?

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  (717): How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!? http://tfl.nu/zxwn
  Replies (14) Good night (336) Bad night (472)

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