i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.