Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you