I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
