Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
