3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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