What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
