This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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