dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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