I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
