someone get that fucking seahorse.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
