I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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